Edcel.net - mind games

I’ve been living life the past 6 months or so for this and I was very happy because it gave me the opportunity to abuse my body since I don’t have a life. However, they announced that they no longer need it because we’ve met the required number of workforce allotted for our position. It’s quite logical but lonely. hehe.

But since I’ll be going back to school, I guess it’s already fine. At least I wouldn’t have too many hours after my shift because I’d have nothing else to do because now, I have something else to do. Just that I’d have to make do with whatever salary I’d get from now on.

Good luck to me.

I’m taking advantage of the legal holiday. We don’t have to work on a holiday because we’re not part of operations. However, the opportunity came up where we could work on this day. I’m not too fond of working now because I’d usually sleep during my shift but I couldn’t let this chance pass because I’d be getting at least double the pay since we’re working on a holiday.

*Sigh* Does my face look like money now, with all the workload I’m doing even on my days off?

So be it then. I need it anyway.

I practically live in the office. Look at me, it’s a Sunday and it’s supposed to be my day off but I’m doing Overtime work. Did I mention that I also did overtime work yesterday which is also my day off? Also, I plan to do Overtime again tomorrow which is already the start of the workweek. I don’t know what’s going on with me, do I love my job so much? Nah, I just need the money. I plan to spend it by buying things that I’ve wanted as well as paying off debt. I owe a lot to a number of people and to a lending company that it seems I need to do everything I can just to double the income I’m getting. Thankfully, OT is needed and I’m there to take advantage of it. This is what I’ve been dreaming of ever since I started working; that is to get paid with the amount of work that you do.

I don’t care if people usually say that I should get a life, by spending this free time off somewhere. I usually do spend it somewhere; there are just occasions such as this one that I don’t want to waste. Since I don’t have any plans over the weekend, I’m finding other ways to make my days off more productive. What more way can I be more productive than grabbing this opportunity? Besides, I also make sure that the work I do has quality. I don’t want to compromise anything, not even damage my name just for the sake of money. Rest assured, my supervisor can rely on me to do the job; and it’s not because I want to have get the easy way to get promoted, it’s just how I am.

To he who has much to give, has much to receive. Good luck to me on payday!

So here I am, doing Overtime work just because I don’t have anything better to do on a weekend. Well, this is actually good since I didn’t have enough plans to go out of town, I’ll be going somewhere next weekend though. Right now, I’m just increasing the salary that goes to the bank down to my pocket till I just poop it all and flush it down the toilet.

A friend wondered why I’m doing Overtime when I should be getting a life by spending this time with a significant other. I just shut my mouth up before I could start giving a number of reasons why I chose to be indifferent. Besides, after I could give a number of justifications, they still won’t understand so I figured it’d be just a waste of saliva.

Anyway, in reality, I’m running out of excuses on why I remain single, why I don’t have a girlfriend already. I still make it as an excuse that I’m finding ways to alleviate my family’s status from the pit to the ground. Some people would find the idea too noble but maybe I was just raised that way.

The bad thing about it is I still let life present itself to me rather than me looking for something to present life. Who actually controls destiny? I’ve read a book about Jim Paredes and there was a note asking if we were created by God or are we the ones who created Him? That message struck and just blew me away that I had to stand in that bookstore for a couple of moments because I still pondered the question for some time. It was a time of my life as well that I shouldn’t be reading those types of books because the topic was and still is a sensitive one in my current condition.

Going back to the topic, I did attempt to pursue her; and at a certain point, I not only attempted. But I was met with dismay. She was the one for me, but I was rejected. When I found out that the woman of my dreams ran off with some guy with a tattoo, I felt out of place and out of reason. All the more that I didn’t make any move. Well maybe I did make a move; but the outcome didn’t look too good. I didn’t only lose a potential wife, I lost a lifetime friend; and it hurt like hell.

I still feel attached to her that’s why I can’t find other women out there. Does getting a life mean getting a partner? To me it does, cause the way people see me, that’s the only thing lacking; which maybe true in some sense. I don’t want to listen to people anymore, honestly. As I easily get swayed from different point of views when in reality, it should be my perception that matters most. And because what I see now is the monitor with my hands typing left to right, and a certain responsibility that keeps on blinking; reminding me that I still have a long way to go before I’m done for the day, I should go back to the present.

Back to work, Edcel. Get a life later.