Edcel.net - mind games

I never really liked John Mayer and his music, until my brother downloaded his Continuum album. So we’re a bit outdated with music. I just realized that this album has been released since 2006 and what date is today? OLD.

It’s something about the way he expresses his thoughts that would match the tone of my life. Of course, that’s what songs are for, to be a part of a memory that you cherish or loathe. I just feel that I’m somewhere between being both. Haha, it rhymed again.

Anyway, I’m currently fixated with two tracks most of the time, aside form “In Repair”, I’m finding the song “Vultures” entertaining and light. It just makes you want to… chill. A laidback kind that’s easy and pleasant to the ears but still profound in a John Mayer way; definitely what I need to keep myself sane for now.

Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it’s taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart’s advice
I should assume it’s still unsteady
I am in repair, I am in repair

Stood on the corner for a while
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new luck upon me
Oh it’s taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart’s advice
I should assume it’s still unsteady
I am in repair, I am in repair

And now i’m walking in the park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me

Oh it’s taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart’s advice
I should assume it’s still unsteady
Oh i’m never really ready, yeah, oh, I’m never really ready
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there
— I don’t know if I’m still in an ‘In Repair’ state, cause it’s really broken hard.

I don’t know what’s going on with life already. We are always like this, trapped with bad credit loans. Just a month ago, I was so ecstatic knowing that after a year’s worth of wait, I finally got my payroll ATM. However, it only lasted a few days, because my father requested me again to ask for another loan so we can finance the business that we were in.

I grew upset of course, since it was early morning and that was the first news that I got from the house. I didn’t agree at first, especially since I knew my brother is also trapped in a litany of bad credit credit cards. I couldn’t explain how mad he got because he didn’t like accumulating debts when he had the capacity to pay on the due date. That’s again because of our status in life.

Right now, I’m just listening to John Mayer’s song as it keeps me going from being close to being insane. My brother downloaded some songs in order to fill up our hard drive, and since I’m more of a blogger, I let him do the music grabbing. I’m just glad that I’m able to benefit from it as well. But I’m veering from the topic already.

Going back, sometimes it makes me angry that I’m always stuck in this rut. But I know it takes a lot of guts for a father to ask for money from his son; and I know that my pop’s intentions are pure. I’m probably being selfish but I want to think about my future as well. Right now, I’m just at a loss for words already.