where do i start?
April 17, 2008Posted by edcel in life.
While on our way to i1 to have our lunch, I saw a couple of old classmates at Da Vinci’s. I dropped by them for the occasional ‘Hi’s’. One of them blurted out that he just got accepted to the same company I’m working for. I’m glad; last year, although the idea didn’t seem alien to him, but he neither was confident in applying for a position. But now that we needed more employees cause the company is constantly ramping up, opportunities are abound; even for undergrads.
With the good news, I asked him how he was doing with his studies. He’s on his last year of college, f*ck. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for him, it’s me and where I am is what constantly bugs me. He asked me why I stopped school. The occasional response has always been “unpaid accounts”. Ever since, we’re always like this, I’m always in this shithole.
But right now, I’m sometimes torn by the idea of having to finish my studies, enjoying what I can while I’m still alive, and balancing my finances in helping my family with our daily expenses. It seems as if I’m at a crossroad; without really understanding which path I’m going to lead. People have different opinions and I’m influenced by them that I tend to sway from one direction to another without taking a firm stance and living up to it.
I should know what I want, but what do I want?
I want to keep up the pace and be at par with everyone. I want to do everything even if I know I can’t have it all. Next question is where do I start? Sheesh. It seems like every obstacle has its own sub-plot. But I guess that’s how life is… predictably inconsistent.
