Edcel.net – mind games

Life has hit me hard in a lot of ways. But there are still more people who’ve been through worse; and I am keeping that notion to constantly challenge me, to develop my full potential because I know that nothing ever stops and we area always growing. It’s another one of those moments where I just have to keep everything in stride and not look back.

Looking back has been one of the biggest frustrations that I have. I do my best to break free but we know that fate can only do so much, you have to act on it before it disappears.

Doing something has made me see a better sense of self and I am glad to experience this since I know it is important to know what you want. I still am on this path but I’m thankful that this opportunity passed by. This time, I shouldn’t let it slip away from my hands.

I wish to keep this feeling, to really have something you want so badly that you know that you’ll get it once you just put your heart, mind and soul into it. You don’t really care how other people think and no amount of negative thoughts can ever distract you from eyeing your goals.

This started when I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. It served as a really good inspiration that I can do more than what is expected of me. To really multi-task and maximize is what’s going on in my head. I would like to make things happen than just let them.

Maybe it’s because of the saturation in my current environment that made me what I am today… HUNGRY. Hungry for success, hungry for opportunities.

When I was young, I dreamed big. Somehow, because of problems in between, it clouded the path I was going to take. But now I’m back on a roll and I am determined to take it straightforward.

I wish that this feeling would not end.

I wish to hone my skill, talent or whatever you might call it in photography and art. I never thought I would actually be inclined to it since when I was young, I used to be more on numbers. But then I guess with today’s age, everybody can be anybody. It’s a world of multi-tasking and you just have to really believe in yourself (harhar, cliche I know) to understand that you can do it. It’s hard especially when people think more about the negative factors that every opportunity brings and usually I tend to just let things happen and sometimes make those criticisms overwhelm me to the point of having to please everyone.

But I’m now leaning to just do what I want since I am entitled to it. It’s still a work in progress but I just have to start pleasing myself more often than others.

I need to be more aggressive.

Finally!

It seems that I’ll probably be a lot busier next year with so many things laid out for me. Opportunities are bigger and are available more than ever and all I have to do is train myself more so I can get more chances in career and life and more of travelling in between.

I’ll be having two international flights next year and even if it’s still so far, I am working on it so I can save more so I wouldn’t look sorry in the end. I’m just glad that I’m booked!

Hope everything works out.

The past few days, life has been a blur. I just feel like I’ve been placed on a track for other people to bet  on –> bad simile. I’ve been trying to find meaning amidst all complexities as well as shallowness but somehow I’m running on empty. This isn’t supposed to be who I am and what I do as I live for discovery and exploration. Maybe I’m just looking for substance and worth even in the little things that routine can offer. Darn it, I’m at it again.

I wish I could and let people direct me what to do with my life. But then reality sometimes have to be what it is… hard and cold. You have to think of something and you have to act quick before you lose all your senses and in turn, lose yourself. You have to make a decision so you have to find logic or feel the emotion to weigh each option on which is heavier. But it doesn’t mean that the heavier it is the better. You’ll never know what lightness can bring.

Been doing a lot of contemplation over the weekend. I have been trying to figure out things I want to do for myself; whatever I want to achieve in life. I wish to do more and I have to decide how I want it. I know I’ll be losing some while I gain new. It’s part of the risk when you choose a certain aspect that can truly get you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes I just wonder why I feel like such a coward when I’ve been through a number of things as well. It’s the confidence in myself that I lack that’s why I should believe in myself more. Thinking about the situation often clogs my mind into accepting what I am here for. When I’m already too comfortable with the situation that I feel at ease and become shit-scared to ever make a move.

If I ever want to stand out rather than blend in, I know I should be firm and stand ground. But can’t I do just both? It will really be something if I ever get out. Because if I do, I’ll get get out with a bang.