I wish I could and let people direct me what to do with my life. But then reality sometimes have to be what it is… hard and cold. You have to think of something and you have to act quick before you lose all your senses and in turn, lose yourself. You have to make a decision so you have to find logic or feel the emotion to weigh each option on which is heavier. But it doesn’t mean that the heavier it is the better. You’ll never know what lightness can bring.
Been doing a lot of contemplation over the weekend. I have been trying to figure out things I want to do for myself; whatever I want to achieve in life. I wish to do more and I have to decide how I want it. I know I’ll be losing some while I gain new. It’s part of the risk when you choose a certain aspect that can truly get you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes I just wonder why I feel like such a coward when I’ve been through a number of things as well. It’s the confidence in myself that I lack that’s why I should believe in myself more. Thinking about the situation often clogs my mind into accepting what I am here for. When I’m already too comfortable with the situation that I feel at ease and become shit-scared to ever make a move.
Today when I was in school, my brother texted me as I was listening to my class. He told me that he got accepted on a job that he was applying for and he will be waiting for a call when training starts. I had to verify it with him as I didn’t want to just get excited over nothing. But when I got the news, I was happy that he finally got something to work on because it’s been awhile since we’ve been driving him to find a job to help out with the family. I hope this turns to reality as it would be everything I thought it would be.
I’ve been meaning to get my own car ever since I was able to start earning some extra income online. I was able to take advantage of my skills in writing to earn enough money so I can get my own wheels. Considering the number of available automobiles in the market, it’s the type of insurance that one can get that sets the difference apart.
I’ve been trying to save enough money so I can pay off my pending loans. I have two as of the moment and it has been killing me every pay day because of the amount of interest that the balance incurs; to think that this will be at it for more than a year or so. I don’t have any problems with loans. It’s just that if it’s too much already, I know I have to stop somehow. I am on the verge of wanting to get rid of the other one because it has a higher amount.
I woke up planning to attend a meeting session but somehow I was just lying in my bed. When I finally mustered the strength to get up, take a shower, dress up and packing my things, I went to the couch and took a nap.
I have never really experienced preparing for Halloween even at the office. This November, it will be my fourth Halloween in the same company wherein we usually dress up and spook other people. But for me, the first Halloween I was on day off, the second one I was on the day shift, the third one (which was last year) I was in another region because of being temporarily assigned there. This year, I planned to make a difference by really participating; only I realized that I shifted back to the day shift. It’s a total bummer, actually.
Something’s up. I don’t know why I feel good, which is pretty strange for the type of person that I am.
Is it the new hair cut? The shades? Going out with my family? Talking to my brother? Or the good morning inviting me to wake up?
I just had a check up as part of the company’s way of promoting wellness. It turns out that when I had my bone density examined, I lacked calcium in my body. I am osteopenic which is already a step before osteoporosis. My bones are brittle and that I need to drink some capsules to have the needed 1200 grams of calcium per day.
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