I’m trying to lose grip but resistance is strong.
There are no ropes to pull and definitely no strings attached.
So why is it hard to let go when there’s nothing to hold on to?
Mind games are hard to follow.
Edcel – a personal weblog mind games and then some.
denial
May 16, 2009 — edcelmy property
May 16, 2009 — edcelMy collageue at work has been trying to look for a house that she can pay off within the next 10 years. A house, it’s a big decision but it’s better to start young than to not even think about spending wisely for your money. Besides, I’m paying off a portion of my salary for rent when I could pay off so I can own it already.
3 years
May 14, 2009 — edcelWow, I’ve never really resigned from a company before. The previous jobs I had were due to my contract ending. This time, I know I want to stop working because I’m too tired to work in general. I am aware that I should be thankful that I have a job that pays high despite the lack of an educational piece of paper but still, I think I’ve proven I’m competent (I think). I just want to try to become a bum for awhile.
nap snap
May 13, 2009 — edcelIt’s weird what a nap can do, you become vulnerable to your surroundings; saying yes just to show that you agree without much thought. That’s why it’s hard to snap out of that temporary break. Since you have to compose yourself before you say anything stupid or make a rash decision out of nowhere just to please a person so that he/she won’t notice that you’ve actually been sleeping.
suddenly
May 11, 2009 — edcelI’m on a high.
I can’t seem to understand why of all the places, it had to be there. I know that somehow paths would cross again. I just didn’t expect it to be too soon. I’m not supposed to be excited, but why do I suddenly feel restless?
UP!
May 10, 2009 — edcel
Been to Manila for work the second time around. Will be back again for the third time next week. Hopefully I’ll be able to go to Enchanted Kingdom. For now, I’ll just settle for UP Diliman.
don't know what i'm doing
May 9, 2009 — edcelStill sitting and typing and watching what I’m supposed to be doing. But I’m thinking of going and leaving and sleeping for understanding that it is numbing for feeling the notion of not wanting anything. There has to be something that’s willing to keep me moving than just bumming. Looking for it and finding it in nothing amidst everything and all the brain-washing is fucking.
tired eyes
May 8, 2009 — edcelyes they are. Don’t have enough sleep as usual. My rest is irregular and I can’t seem to be in my best state. I know I have to shape up already, but it’s been a hassle. I want to get some shut eyes, but then I have to work.
stopover
May 8, 2009 — edcelI wish I knew where I’m going. I can’t crawl up in one corner and expect somebody to just take me away, though it can be a probable solution. Still, where’s my missing piece?
Once in awhile, a traveller needs to rest.
nothing seems to rhyme anymore
May 6, 2009 — edcelYour opinion still matters, but hear me out too. Don’t even think that I’m still stuck. It’s just sad knowing that you still have the impression that you’ve thought I’ll always be. Do you see me as a freak? I can’t change that. I just wish you’d open your mind now. People change, remember? That’s been the excuse ever since.
crossing my fingers
May 6, 2009 — edceland hoping that I’ll be able to plan my trip ahead of time without any worries as I want to make sure that I’m able to make the most out of the business trip but I don’t want to say anything cause I might get jinxed again. hahay. We’ll see what will happen; it’s still going to be 2 weeks from now however I can’t seem to wait. Or it’s probably just my mind racing through my head.
release
May 5, 2009 — edcelI want to go to the beach already, soak up the sun and just let the heat take over. Release me from busyness, take me away.
travel accompany
May 5, 2009 — edcelBecause of the hours of travelling, it’s tiring to just stare at the road for a long time. I want to have a portable device so it would be nice to Win a Flip Mino from Ben Behrouzi. It keeps me busy as I will be able to capture moments and keep track of the record so I can upload it to my laptop.
got back
May 4, 2009 — edcelJust got back from Manila, it was a very busy week but I’m glad I was able to go out in some way without spending much. I’m also happy that I was able to make the most out of the stay, I think. Anyway, I need to implement more changes that will benefit the site more.
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edcel's edsnaps photoset