Edcel.net – mind games

I’m moving out. I paid a partial rent already so things are really taking effect. Somehow, I feel bad; that I’m abandoning ship and leaving my family behind.

I’m leaving the place , maybe just for awhile and like I said before, I’m scared shitless. The inevitable will always be there, but I’m growing old and I can’t revert to the same ways that have always prevailed in my almost 22 years of existence. I need and I want to step up. It will be hard I know, I will stumble countless times. I just need the space for myself alone.

Does that make me a bad son? Because of the situation that I’m creating, it feels like I’m the one creating a broken family. But I haven’t always been a good child, I do become selfish a lot of times. But because I’m staying away from the problem, it’s like I’m escaping my responsibility. However, I also need to grow; how can I live up to my own principles if I don’t practice them? I want a travel marketing plan.

The mentality that I’ve always had is to help my family, pay my respects, do my obligations, be the obedient child. But now, I’m just all too tired and full of pride which makes me question the path I’m taking. Do I want to be like this? Of course not; however, I need to keep my own beliefs intact; even if it means going away.

The feeling just sucks, with all the things that we’ve been through, with all the hardships we’ve survived, I’m now turning into a prodigal son.

Coincidentally, I read a story from a forwarded message stuck in my Inbox. The email talked about a son who grew up who sent his parents to a trip. Since it was his parents’ first time to ride a plane, they couldn’t conceal their excitement when they were already at the airport. Anyway, here’s a passage…

A simple man tells how his booking  an air ticket for his  father, his
first  flight, brought  emotions and made him realize that how much we
all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

As  they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to
me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very  emotional and
it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant
a great deal to him.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we  went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to  book tickets by train, I got them tickets on
lufthansa.

The moment I handed over  the tickets to him, he was  surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting  for the time of travel. Just like a school  boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went  to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage  check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restlessly for the  security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying  himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these  things.

The story isn’t that hard to understand, it’s just about giving back the selflessness that you received from the people who raised you properly.

I’ve always wanted to bring something to the house. I’ve always wanted a picture of a happy family (our family) gathering in one table with our wives and children in tow. But somehow, poverty clouded that memory. It seems like that type of scene would only come true if money would be no question. And in our case, it’s always been an issue. Sure, we were one when we had no money. But the problem is we’re growing up.

Even if how many instances my parents would say that money is not the problem, it’s the one that’s been hindering us from achieving a lot of things. Or maybe that’s just my personal opinion. I don’t know how many times my father did the impossible; like sending us to private schools even if he didn’t have a single cent in his pocket. But then, I can never be like him. I’ve always wanted to but I just couldn’t; and I still can’t. He’s not pressuring me since I’m the one doing it for myself; setting a standard that I can never reach which makes me all the more frustrated when I’m unable to succeed.

And now that I’m transferring to another place which is actually illogical, I have to keep my head up. I have my own journeys to take; definitely I don’t want to be alone. But sometimes I just have to stay strong, even if it means losing my senses.

I’ve never been to the US. Like every native, because of the colonial mentality that we’re facing, we all want to go outside. As for me, I just want to experience how it feels like to have snow. It would be such a treat.

But one of the things I wish to do when I’m outside is get some miami heat tickets so I can watch the NBA playoffs this season. It was nice when a friend showed me pictures of some All-Star Players up close and in a huge court with all the lights, banners, not to mention cheerleaders in tow.

This blog is an outlet for showing the deeper side of me. Cause people just perceive me as a happy-go-lucky-person with no direction in life; even if it’s half-true. I just put a mask with a happy face every time I go to work or wherever; but deep inside, close people know the real me. That is, I’m surrounded with too much problems that I get mentally deranged sometimes.

I don’t want to open up to people because in the end, they’ll have they’re own say and I’ll have mine. God knows what those brains are thinking next. There’s no use of explaining just because I’m tired of repeating the same words, as if they’re still going to believe me. Of course, I’m running out of excuses and my excuses don’t seem to equate but we each got our own reasons; with those reasons being determined by how we were raised.

Anyway, going back; it’s nice to have a place to talk and talk, since I love talking about to myself. So forgive me if I’m sometimes a prick for being sensitive when it comes to the words I leak out of this page.

But don’t get me wrong, this blog is another option for me to earn money while expressing my thoughts. I already started earning online through another blog, however, I didn’t have much control of that over this. I mean, I’m happy that I’m able to learn the hassles of creating my own website. It adds credibility to the fact that I started it by myself. So it’s not bad that I also blog about things that may be off base. Besides, I already have a number of “personal” entries that I don’t normally share to my usual readers in my other blog, so it would I’m assuming it would be okay to talk about nonsense once in a while.

Anyway, to anybody who visits here, I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a comment; if not on the “Comments” box, you can just place a shout out on how you were able to come to this site.

I’m glad that I got my ebay item one fine afternoon. I was a bit apprehensive when it comes to online shopping since we really don’t know the people we deal with online. But when I called front desk when I was still at work doing overtime (again), they said that the messenger just came in. I got the clothing that I bought and it wasn’t such a pain at all!

It’s with purchases like these that makes me thank technology and how fast things are going already because of the development in the different aspects of living. Sometimes you can just get everything with one snap of a finger.

One of the interesting programs that’s already there for those who prefer to shop online but are hesitant because most stores barely ship internationally would be getting an address. I was browsing through the MyUS.com website and it fascinates me even more how one can just shop at the comfort of your own home (so long as you have your own computer) and just let the internet do its wonder.

I’m planning to apply for this package since the offer is really tempting. What’s great about it is the easy access factor to the different retailers out there wherein you can really get the value for your money. Now which item am I going to purchase next?

When I was in Dumaguete, a high school friend introduced me to her new  bodyguard. The face looked familiar, it was then that I found out that he was a batch lower than us. We went out just to hang out and tried to get wasted. He was taking a class for caregiving which would only take him 6 months to finish. Because I haven’t finished my studies, it made me contemplate again.

I already have a job but it seems that it’s still not enough. I want to earn more so I can help my family. But then he told me it’s not that easy because you need to find a good home health care agency that will back you up when you’re already outside. Of course, everything is a risk. But if this is my ticket outside this country, the idea doesn’t seem too far-fetched.

Phewwwwww!!! I feel so relieved after accomplishing this!

I upgraded my Wordpress to the latest version which is version 2.6!

I’m not very good with these website upgrades and creations that’s why it’s such a big help to find useful resources that really help a lot in providing you the information you need.

It took me how many days, weeks even just to shift this current version.

It’s because I tried to manually read the different procedures in order to upgrade, but then my mind couldn’t comprehend the technical terms cause it’s really hard to picture out words. It left me to just leave things be on days when I got really frustrated.

I initially wanted to chat with some technical representatives from my host (3ix.com) but then I also realized that they don’t really help much since this is a Wordpress problem.

As I was browsing through some forums and help sites, I was able to stumble upon a guide from Youtube on how to back up my files and upgrade to a later version. This is what I used and I never thought it would be that simple! I felt like a dumbass forgetting that there are innovative minds out there that have most likely encountered the same problem as I did and invented Automatic upgrades to make life easier.

How To Backup And Upgrade Your Wordpress Blog Easily

Indeed a picture can really express a lot, more so does a video. This tutorial helped me transition without any much hassle at all; though there were some minor issues I had to face which weren’t that hard since I already had some background with different workarounds when I started this site and purchased this domain.

Basically, the main things you need to have in order to upgrade to the version 2.6 fast are:

1. Wordpress Database Backup Plugin – for you to back up your files cause you don’t want to end up feeling sorry for yourself once your blog crashes and you don’t have any backup.
2. Instant Upgrade Plugin – to automatically upgrade your blog to the latest version without much problem.

Remember that you also need to at least have some background with regard to FTP servers and processes because you need to make your folder writable and such. Anyway, I hope I’m able to help spread this news. It just feels good to have the latest version, I wouldn’t have to bother with a reminder everytime I open up my dashboard.