I feel so clumsy at times, no, a lot of times. I don’t know how many instances have passed where I should’ve kept my mouth shut but didn’t because the urge to say something (even if it’s not that useful) is too strong for me to even think twice. How many times has my big mouth got me into trouble? It’s sickening in a sense because I’m supposed to be this all-mature person who should’ve gotten a significant other a long time but is still finding all sorts of excuses for not pursuing it. I should go back to finishing those online college courses.
Edcel – a personal weblog mind games and then some.
FU
April 28, 2008 — edcelIgnorance is bliss, what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Getting an online college degree is better.
I can’t believe you. Why’d you even have to bother saying that loud? Why did I even have to know about it now? I thought I could trust you, but I don’t believe in trust more than you anymore.
fatigue
April 27, 2008 — edcelAre you just a mere fantasy that serves as an excuse for me to keep my sanity? As it seems I’m chasing away a f*cked up dream that I’m not even sure anymore what I would be getting in return.
Cannonball
April 26, 2008 — edcelCannonball
Damien Rice
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what’s going on
Still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness
Still a little bit of your face i haven’t kissed
You step a little closer each day
That i can’t say what’s going on
vanity check
April 25, 2008 — edcelI haven’t had enough sleep. This is because of blogging, it’s weird; when I’m supposed to at least rest during my day off, I tend to just sit and stare at the computer. It’s not like I don’t sit and type at work, heck I don’t even know how many hours I spend online just to update. It’s really insane that it’s unhealthy anymore. I should finish those online courses.
friends at work
April 24, 2008 — edcelI’m glad that somehow, I’m able to find people I can look up to in the working environment. These people are the ones I can talk about anything. They know me already that I wouldn’t get angry or conscious with different side-comments that they’d throw at me whenever they think I’m too uptight and constricted, narrow-minded even. I’m already comfortable with them that it seems never a bother if I stay up a few hours more after my shift just to have the occasional chitchats. I cherish these moments for I know it’ll be a lot sooner that I won’t ever have the same opportunity of talking to them again as we’ll be transferring to a different floor. People are moving on, applying for an online degree here and there. I should do the same.
back to the lending company
April 23, 2008 — edcelAfter 5 days of keeping my atm card, it’s gone to the lending company again. I know I shouldn’t complain since it takes a huge deal of diminishing ego just to ask money from your son. It’s just the monotony of the situation that I’m a bit upset about.
collide
April 22, 2008 — edcelThis song, something about it that makes everything sad. Maybe it’s the tone, but I can’t deny the lyrics is good.
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You’re barely waking
And I’m tangled up in you
Yeah
I’m open, you’re closed
Where I follow, you’ll go
I worry I won’t see your face
Light up again
anger management
April 21, 2008 — edcelHow do I get rid of this anger? Not by some degree programs though.
No, I’m not angry at people, I’m angry at myself for letting people treat me this way. I can definitely relate to Adam Sandler’s character, I need to find that Jack Nicholson in life.
footprints
April 20, 2008 — edcelWhile I’m alive, I plan to leave a mark in this world. The only problem is to find that existing purpose of how you want to send a lasting impression that can never be forgotten. People are people, how many people are there? How many can say “I did it!”? How many didn’t get the chance? How can one be remembered? That is part of our journey. I pray I can touch people’s lives (not in nymph’s sense though). But just to contribute to a society, I guess that’ll be one of my fulfillment.
dream
April 18, 2008 — edcelI don’t like dreaming about her; cause when I wake up, I tend to have that ambitious feeling of having some hope left in something that can never be.
where do i start?
April 17, 2008 — edcelWhile on our way to i1 to have our lunch, I saw a couple of old classmates at Da Vinci’s. I dropped by them for the occasional ‘Hi’s’. One of them blurted out that he just got accepted to the same company I’m working for. I’m glad; last year, although the idea didn’t seem alien to him, but he neither was confident in applying for a position. But now that we needed more employees cause the company is constantly ramping up, opportunities are abound; even for undergrads.
not too late
April 15, 2008 — edcel
When was the last time I’ve been this carefree?
Still, it’s not too late.
glued to the PC
April 13, 2008 — edcelIt’s already 1am, I’m still awake, I can’t believe I’m still awake. I don’t know what happened to my mantra of clean and healthy living by getting enough rest when I can. Almost everyday, I’d sleep late and wake up early. Good if I’d wake up to work or exercise or get my life going. The problem is that I’m here typing this entry away just like any other time.
They Do They Don't
April 11, 2008 — edcelJack Johnson – They Do They Don’t
Tied down against the tracks
Screaming in silent black and white
Why’d you trust us we are such villains
We would tell ourselves anything
we want to hear if we are willing
To listen is to learn
Then too much is what we deserve
-
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